It’s a question I ask myself on almost a daily basis..sometimes as basic as when I get in the car with a list of errands to get done and trying to decide where to go first that will keep me from going in circles ( which I am pretty good at doing!).  I have not gotten lost yet although the temptation is often there to just take off for awhile in my car, especially when I am driving past Newark Liberty Airport when I might say to Steve to let’s just park the car and get on a flight somewhere ( I might have to start carrying my passport with me in my handbag).  I do always manage to get home safely and I am grateful for that.

But on a deeper level, the reflection that has come to be known as “The Prayer of Thomas Merton” is always playing itself in my heart and soul and does beg the deeply spiritual question of ” where am I going?”  Am I getting close, Lord?  Am I on the right path, Lord? Sometimes, Lord, I am not feeling you next to me  though I know you are there.  Sometimes, Lord I want to be walking faster or slower and You keep changing my mind and my pace and it takes awhile to figure out that I need to let go even more and more of my ego, to be softer and open my stubborn heart even more….sigh…

Part of Thomas Merton’s prayer is:

“My Lord God, I have no ideal where I am going.  I do not see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end.  Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.  But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you…”

So yes, Lord, most days I am trying the best I can to live the life you meant for me that will bring you the most honor and glory- it’s not really that hard most days to be thoughtful, to say a kind word to another ( even a kind word to myself), to be simple and small- other days are more of a challenge but as a good friend once told me, “Angela, get out of God’s way and let God do what He needs to do.”